This week has been disastrous as far as parking is concerned. I got to my car today to find a $55 ticket on my windshield. I guess it’s better than finding that my car was towed again and getting a ticket on top of that. But still, really? I’ve been parking in the exact same parking spot for the past 10 weeks, and granted, the sign does say “no parking,” but the street is always filled with cars. Always!
This semester in general has been a transportation nightmare. The bus to the hospital has been 45 minutes late…twice, which is inexcusable in my opinion, especially when it’s 40 degrees outside and raining and it’s 6 in the morning and by the time the bus comes I’m late for clinical and then I have to explain everything to my instructor and sound like a completely incompetent nursing student; there’s been traffic on the highway to and from school for the past couple of months; I got pulled over by a policeman two weeks ago for driving on the berm to cut off traffic; and my car has cost me almost $200 in the past three days, not including my $50 fuel-up yesterday. Is this a sign that I should get a motorcycle? I think so. Small, compact, fuel and energy-efficient, and I can park it ANYWHERE. It’s brilliant. And our family has one, so I just need my license :)
On a completely different subject, I really need to cut back on my sugar intake. Throughout today I had 2 mini Snickers bars, 2 mini bags of M&Ms, and a half of a sugar donut pastry thing that was sitting in the kitchen at work. I was hungry!!! That’s the problem, I pack super-healthy portion-controlled meals but it’s never quite enough. Especially when you’re 2 hours into an Ethics lecture and simply can’t focus any more and you ate your lentils and cucumber salad right at the beginning of class. I start the day out great, but by midafternoon, I am craving sugar! So I find something succulent and sweet to munch on, and my cravings are temporarily stayed. But then before too long, I’m not only craving more sugar, but I’m starting to feel hungry too. And no matter how much sugar I ingest, it doesn’t take away that deeper hunger, the longing for something more substantial. And even though the last thing I’m craving at the moment is a chicken salad, that’s exactly the type of thing I need. Fresh greens and protein. Because I know that if I keep eating the sugar, I’m going to crash within the next hour or so, and I’ll feel terrible. Like right now, my stomach is swollen from eating wheat and caramelly chocolaty goodness, and even though I ate a delicious Cobb salad for dinner after class (and realized after the first bite that what my body was really craving was nutrition) it doesn’t eliminate the sugary corn syrupy nastiness that my body is trying very hard to digest.
That reminds me of life though. Our spirits need nourishment, healthy and uplifting food to keep us strong and boost our spiritual immune system so we don’t succumb to the sicknesses in the world. So the Lord builds cravings into our spiritual system so that we would desire to be filled by His Spirit and look to His Word for food. Yet all too often we feel the rumblings of spiritual emptiness and turn immediately to our own resources: television, exercise, worldly pleasures, and often find a sort of fulfillment and comfort. Some may spend the rest of their lives in this pattern of fulfilling their desires by the flesh, while others, who perhaps have tasted Real Food at one point or another, can never quite satisfy themselves in this manner. Unlike when I’m at school and I’ve run out of healthy food to eat, the Lord’s food is never unavailable. His cup is overflowing with goodness, and He has a table of grace spread out before His throne. His banquet never spoils, and the more time you spend at His table, the more you desire His food and His food alone. It’s an incredible picture of His goodness to us. Perhaps you’ve spent so much time eating the French fries and burgers of the world that you’ve lost your appetite for spinach and pastured chicken. That’s a place where I’ve found myself in the Lord; where I know I’m not eating right but in all honestly, am not craving the Word, or prayer. That’s when it’s of the utmost importance to immerse myself in Him, and allow Him to teach me how to love Him again. It’s a constant battle. Think about it. How many times do you eat each day? What happens when you don’t eat? How long can you go without eating? What happens to your body when you eat too much of the wrong kind of food? It’s no different with the Lord. That’s why food is such a perfect analogy for our relationship to the Word of God. We need to be fed multiple times each day. We cannot expect to have a healthy prayer life, spiritual life, or even life life if we are not starting each day, living each day, and ending each day in Him. I’m not there yet, but I’ve begun the process in my own life, which is half of the battle. The other half is continuing to move ever onward, “further up and further in!” and “upward and inward!” (C.S. Lewis The Last Battle). And what a glorious adventure it is.
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